Self esteem: what do you see when you look in the mirror?

We’ve all done it…you’re walking through the mall and catch a glimpse of yourself in the glass windows. What do you see in the reflection?

For some, it could be confidence. For others, recognition of a tiring, yet productive day. But for many people, all they see is failure, flaws and past mistakes. They are most likely struggling with low self-esteem.

Whether you are thinking about a broken relationship for the millionth time or how you failed to get everything on your to-do list done on the weekend, or criticism you received at work…all of these scenarios are examples of being in a negative headspace that can eat away at your self-worth.

Marinating in these thoughts is not good for your self-esteem, and if they have persisted for months or years, it can eat away at your confidence and make it feel impossible to find a positive frame of mind. 

A slippery slope

Low self-esteem is a vicious cycle. If it’s been awhile, your self-worth could be in the dumps and you’re even more susceptible to slipping back into that negative headspace. You’re more likely to focus on  your weaknesses or flaws without even realizing it. It’s automatic.

For example…You completed a presentation at work and did a fantastic job of communicating your in-depth findings. But wait. You forgot one small detail. So instead of focusing on all of the wonderful feedback you’ve received and the positive actions out of the presentation at your company, all you can think is that you messed up. You ruined the whole thing and it just wasn’t good enough. 

On the flip side, with a healthy, positive mindset you would be congrating yourself on a job well done and making a constructive note on the missed detail to improve for next time. 

The same goes for how you talk about yourself. If it is automatic for you to make self-deprecating jokes all the time, your self-worth is likely to be low, even if you are not aware of it.     

Tracing the source

There are many areas of life that can impact our self-worth. Sometimes our past experiences and relationships leave us feeling devalued or maybe we have received too much criticism.  

These situations can have an effect on our thought patterns and our reactions to certain situations. What’s important to know is that counselling can help you. 

Our counsellors work with you to help identify your negative core beliefs, which may show up as thoughts, feelings, and action tendencies. We look at how to recognize these automatic reactions and explore preferred experiences that build onto your confidence in your abilities. The aim is to restore healthy self-esteem to a balanced, accurate view of yourself, both in your abilities and flaws. 

It’s time to raise your self-esteem. Let us help you. 

Book counselling.

Melanie Nicholson